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Monday, March 3, 2014

Chaos



When you held my hand, my mind was in chaos. I didn’t know what to do, or how to act, or what to say. 

Chill went down my spine and my heart was beating faster than it normally does. 

I was frozen, caught in a trap I can’t seem to escape.

I do not know anymore.

@___@

Monday, February 3, 2014

2014, A Start of Something New




In my nineteen years of living, I’ve never had someone special, nor did someone special have me.
Yes, I did fall in love before, but they were all unrequited love. They did not end with good results, and it ended with me being hurt pretty badly. 

But majority of my life, I did not feel lonely. I had my family and friends with me. 

However, I have to admit that it still feels lonely. Seeing couples together being happy and thinking to myself, “When would I find happiness of my own?” or “I think I will die single and alone”. 

And that one day of February which singles have to go through and bear with, Valentine’s Day. Seeing flowers and chocolates all around, while having nothing to receive or share the day with. Sometimes, it will resort to convincing yourself that “I don’t need that” which in reality, you would want to feel the giddiness of receiving something from your special someone. 

People kept on saying that love will come unexpectedly, and honestly, I did not believe that. It led me to have this belief that I am not good enough, I am ugly, no one wants me, or I am not meant for that lovey dovey thing. 

But right now, I am eating my own words. I did not expect this to come very soon. It caught me off guard. 

I hate to admit it, but I fell. And yes, I would like to hide now. >_<

I am not sure of where this will lead, but it’s worth a shot.
And indeed, I am growing old.

Friday, January 3, 2014

Touko Fukawa Cosplay

Hi there everyone! It's been a long time since I last blogged.

And hey, it's 2014! I wanna greet everyone a Happy New Year! yayy!
The past year has really been a hectic one for me, but it had really been great and worthwhile.

We had a Danganronpa Photoshoot before the year ended. It was our last shoot for 2013. I was with Argenn who cosplayed Junko Enoshima and Kenn who cosplayed Togami Byakuya.

Moving on, here are my pictures~

These are my favorite shots :) 

 Genocider Syo Cosplay




Touko Fukawa Cosplay 

The shots turned out great. The shoot was a success~ ^__^
Till next time, JA!

Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Feeling Horrible

There are times when I feel so horrible. I feel as if everyone is against me.

My family, friends, and the world.

I feel so alone, with no one to talk to. I don't want to be like this.
Lately, I've been feeling happy, but then does this come with a price?
How can I be truly happy without sacrificing anything?

People getting mad at me even though it's not my fault.
People judging me without even knowing the whole story.
People blaming me even though I did not do anything.

Sometimes, I just hate the world.

Friends backstabbing you.
Friends appearing as if they are true.
Friends using you to gain something.

WHY DO PEOPLE BLAME ME FOR A MISTAKE I DID NOT COMMIT?
EVEN SAYING THINGS BEHIND MY BACK?



Am I doing things right?

2013 has been really an amazing year for me. A lot of opportunities opened up for me, especially when it comes to cosplay. I met a lot of new people who shares the same hobby as me.

2013 is also the year in which our group is complete again, because one of our friends went home from the Land of the Rising Sun.  

2013 is also the year in which I went out with a guy alone, and I would like to talk about that.

Yes, I am already of legal age, but I have no experience or whatsoever. I don't know if that was called a date, but I would like to call it "friends watching a movie together". I really did not expect that we would be in this terms with that guy since we knew each other since before. We meet in conventions a lot and were good acquaintances. We also have met sometime in the past. Everything was really unexpected.

Well, I am not in a hurry. All I have to do is just go with the flow.

Que sera sera. :)

Tuesday, December 10, 2013

All of Those Feelings are Gone



All of Those Feelings are Gone

 I never thought my feelings for your would cease,
It’s as if they were really strong and I was at ease,
Maybe I was just swayed by all the teasing done by our peers,
I realized that it was one-sided throughout the years.

Almost two years of liking you is no joke,
It was even triggered by our classmate’s yoke,
When I see you, my heart beats fast,
I thought to myself, “Oh, how long would this last?”

One day, I just woke, upon seeing you; it does not feel special,
I realize that in my life, you are not essential,
All my life, you’ve just taken me for granted,
You on the other hand, did what you just wanted.

I never thought that all of those feelings would cease,
And I am right now at ease,
I am happier without my mind not being occupied by you,
Not seeing you does not even make me feel blue.

I realized that I deserved to be treated better,
This poem, I’ll prove that I am not bitter,
I should value myself more than I did,
And hey, please remember that this poem does not kid. 



My affections for you are gone, and I’ve never been happier.

Monday, December 2, 2013

Asa na ma ni padulong?

Oh my gosh. wala na ko kasabot kung asa na ni padulong. O____O